Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
