Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
