the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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