But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
