no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
