when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
