brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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