I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
