I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I checked into jail on foursquare
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize