She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize