You're so nebulous sometimes
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
