bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
