We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
