I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he fucked my hip out of place.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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