i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
