i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
