I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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