what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
