Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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