wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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