so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
