Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
