her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
