i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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