Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize