Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
