Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
