I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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