Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
