idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My liver just had a heart attack.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is my gift to your gina
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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