i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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