The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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