Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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