Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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