Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
