We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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