Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have already put on my inside pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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