please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
