Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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