I cockslap morals
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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