think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
