when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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