well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
