You can't motorboat a personality
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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