he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We need to get me chipped asap
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize