My liver just broke up with me...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize