He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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