he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
