i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Randomize
