this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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