your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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