who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
pray to the hookup gods
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
