I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
