At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
