I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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