No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
