this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
