I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
