Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize